I've had a rough week. And next week will surely be just as tough for me, if this whole rumour.I.won't.text.you.back-thing continues.
But I've made up my mind now, because I've just realised something:
I'm not dying. It hasn't killed me yet, so what am I so afraid of?
I just now realised that this is nothing compared to what I will experience later on in life. This is trifles! Nothing. Just a small desert I'll get before the main course. It's only the start.
And like author Friedrich Nietzsche once said:
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
I realise I've been naïve to ever think, this was hard for me. This was nothing. I won't be talking about my fabulous life compared to hungry African children, because I don't like that comparison.
Suffering has many faces and is always relative to the person who feels the suffering. But I know in my heart now, that I'll forget about this in a couple of weeks and get on with my life and think about other problems and joys.
Sometimes you just have to grind your teeth together and keep on going. I'm not talking from experience - this is the first and tiny (but real) life lesson I've been taught, and even if I feel as wise as a 100 year old woman, I'm not and I have to accept that I'm still somewhat a child, that I'm still only 1/5 way through my life. I have 4 more to go and though I know they'll have their own sufferings and problems, I'll make a promise to myself right now and here:
I will not quit.
I'll be strong and I will not fall for fatigue. I will stand tall until I die, I won't compromise because of the happiness of others unless it gives me something in return. I will take care of myself and be my own best friend and critic.
And I'll write a letter to myself every year from http://www.futureme.org/ and remind myself that all the 'big' problems I suffered through the past year did - in fact - not kill me, but made me stronger. Made me who I am now.
Oh, I'll make it through.
I will.
- Yours sincerely
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